See, a friend of mine (who is not me) indulges in a fair bit of Internet
Recently her sister went out with a guy from an undisclosed dating site. I'm not being coy, I just don't know which one because quite unbelievably, I don't use them! *shock and/or disbelief*
Her sister did the nasty with this dude, as they dated for a little while. I believe after the ugly bumping, he dished a "root and boot" manoeuvre*, and blanked her.
Then he posed as his own cousin and made a date with my friend. Yes, both sisters use the same dating site. However, it should be noted that that my friend and the guy did not do the filth.
The two sisters have since pieced together that this guy is a fucking liar and pretended to be his cousin to date the second sister and try and get his prong in her socket, like he did with the first one.
Personally, I'm all for Internet sex, family member swapsies and generally behaving like an unpaid man-whore, but not if you are lying to people in order to do it.
Now I realise that none of this has a good Goddamn to do with me, but see, I've just been contracted in to arrange the revenging.
I'm outsourcing because I have a lot on my mind at the moment. I can't think straight and I don't want to offer up lame score settling tactics. I have been spending some time gazing out the window wondering who to call to gather around my cauldron, when I realised I have you few hundred great friends, and you really are an excellent so-far-untapped resource for this sort of shenanigan planning.
So I am imploring for help.
*help!*
I'll make it a competition to make it 'fun'!
Can everyone who has a strong vindictive streak lurking under a thin and crispy veneer of normality, please offer up their best ideas for a bit of ruthless revengefulness.
The winning entry gets a minimum three-hour date with yours truly, though please do not let that deter you from entering the competition as tolerating an evening of buying me expensive drinks and listening to me talk about myself is optional only, fully transferable, and not even mandatory.
The end.
* I seriously had to type that incorrectly and spell check it, like fucking usual...
13 PHAT SLAPS:
Play hide the yoghurt in his car/house/boat/office
I have a way of combining a few things into one here Kitty:
1. Set up a fake profile. The photos should be of someone 'real' and should look similar to the sisters in question. The profile should be similar to the sisters as well so that the liar takes the bait;
2. Interact with the liar in an appropriate manner (based on sisters feedback);
3. Set up a date at the same location as where we go out (potentially with sisters) so that we can get suitably trashed before hand and let the games begin.
Further to style seductions comments:
dog poo under the car door handle is a good one too.
Hi kitten. Do it the Italian way. Um...have a gal (me) set up a date with this guy at a motel room. Get the to strip naked, and just then...a big biker type pretend jealous husband bursts in with weapon in hand.
The guy will shit himself.
Then after that you just have to get rid of te body.
You did want this guy to pay...right? :)
later kitty.xx
I like the old 'set up a fake profile and pretend to be a scorching hot blonde who wants to fuck his brains out, lure him in for a meeting and confront him with ...I dunno..something goddam fucking awful' routine. Not that I've thought about it much...
That guy deserves a cruel and unusual punishment.
Why not let him enter this contest and then award him the first prize...
they say the best revenge is living well....
bwwhahahahaha
but i prefer to pour sugar in their petrol tank.
Google "revenge ideas" to find something suitable.
Miss Kitty, if my idea is selected, I request one of the Frequent Fucker Key Ring Thingies. I think that would enhance my reputation around the office.
I'm all out of half descent ideas...
I don't mean to make light of STD's but what if your friends sister called him to either -
1. Abuse the shit out of him saying that he gave her a particularly nasty std. Or
2. Call him to let him know that she has a nasty STD that she may have given him and that he should get himself checked...
Or! Get some pics of a feminine looking tranny and hit on him with a fake dating profile. Once things get steamy show a whole pic of the tranny, cock and all :) haha
ok this is what I suggest.....
they arrange a date with him. Maybe both sisters? he'll think all his christmases have cum at once ;) they lie him on the bed on his belly. handcuff his hands. Spread his legs and tie them off too. They then enlist the help of several boys with massive cocks and fuck that bitch good and proper! hmmmm maybe some gerbals too?? Then watch the bitch hobble home :o)
I would have sister #2 pretend that she does want to do him. Meet him at a motel that may be known for bed bugs. Tie him to the bed, bring in the ugliest filthiest homeless lady you can con into it and let her have at him. She gets a night off the street and a bit of shagging to go along with it! Bring in sister #1 to take a few pictures to show all his buddies. lol
If I do happen to win, is there an alternate prize? Flying from NY to the Land Down Under for a date could get quite costly. lol
Some great suggestions so far, I hope some of them remain as fantasies though! eek.
I'd definitely play a prank that he's meeting someone and then, arrive, both of them, together, to the pub, place. He'll just walk out of course, but hopefully not until they get to throw their drink on him, and or slap his face to humiliate him.
Or, post his picture/profile/dating info on dontdatehimgirl.com and warn others.
Be careful to avoid potential law-suits!!!
What a pig!
I had a roommate my freshman year of college and she got me busted for the small liquor cabinet I had been putting together.
Anywho...we put dye in her laundry detergent, laxatives in her apple juice, and semen in her milk
...and a condom may or may not have been emptied out in her pillow. I'm so evil.
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